


Lay down your weapons

by Waldfee



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Agron cares for Nasir (or tries to), Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - World War I, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, First Love, M/M, Slow Burn, Trust Issues, banter and akward flirting, can be read as a Christmas story, they need each other but don't know it yet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-04-15 23:46:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14152017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waldfee/pseuds/Waldfee
Summary: After Agron's desertion, he finds himself alone in the cold snowy forests, with his gun as the only remaining friend. Then unexpectedly he meets the enemy in form of the beautiful Nasir Temiz. But can he risk to trust the French soldier, who might lead him to his ruin? Many obstacles are to be overcome until both men get what their hearts desire...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'ed.

France in 1917:

Agron hid behind the bushes, only too aware of the fact that he was still visible in midst the snowy landscape. But there was no choice for him now, as he had finally escaped his suicide commando after being half frozen to death, hungry, desperate and nearly hit by parts of bullets several times over the course of the last weeks and months. Just like his comrades, who had lain beside him in the tunnels. Most of them were forever silent now. With many, many doubts he had left them behind, had sneaked off from their assigned sector on one of his control walks in the middle of the night, to seek rescue and a way home from his company's standpoint near Verdun in France. He even had to knock out the fearful companion who was by his side, who could and would have prevented him from running off.

The punishment for desertion was always death. Death alone was their true friend, so you shouldn't trust anyone else, not your commanding officer and by no means your own comrades.

But what should he have done instead? Stay there, to face certain death and be a cause of grief to his family, his loving parents? After all, his meanwhile limping father relied on him to come back home and take care of their farm and everything else. His younger brother Duro had already died in the agony which was the battle field of Arras in northern France. It was two months ago that Agron had last received a letter from home, which was situated in a small village in North Rhine-Westphalia. He didn't know if his family was well, if they had to starve just like the soldiers on the frontline did, or if his remaining beloved ones lived at all. Too many had died already.

For a long time, he had aimed to accept the many deaths, still believing in this war's ultimate truth, to fight their enemies with all their vigour. For his home country, for the wellbeing of every citizen, he had been willing to risk his life a thousand times, had been willing to hide in the combat tunnels and try to destroy the enemy's hide-outs. He had shot many of them, and he had not cared at all. How should he care, when he was lying and waiting there for days, in his old, dirty uniform, wearing his defect, too tight boots, when his night’s sleep was disturbed by the repeated impact of bullets and the painful moaning of his comrades, the smell of burnt limbs, which always hung in the air, and the slow, but so very sure loss of any reason?

Back in the old days, before the big war, he had lived a peaceful, if yet uneventful life. He had gone to school, had helped out on his father’s fields and dreamed of one day being a police officer, maybe also an athlete, as he was fast and strong. His strong sense for justice along with the necessary intelligence would have enabled him to reach far higher goals than being just a farmer, could have opened him a world full of sheer endless possibilities, if he had not been forced to enrol in the army in 1915.  
Eventually he had accepted and endured his destiny, endured the endless walks and battles, the dying of friends, the grievous letters he received from home. He had accepted the loss of sanity and his own free will, the many infections of his respiratory system, the drinking of dirty water, the constant hunger. But now, he wanted no more! He wanted life with everything it may still hold for him, a chance to love and to learn, and to finally see his home again!

So after his desertion he had gone as far as his tired feet had carried him, had sneaked off into the nearest forest and even found a hollow which was protected enough to not be completely open to the natural elements. Once there, he had slept a couple of hours, until it dawned. Then he had raised himself from the cold ground and ran again, ran fast for miles without end, because he feared persecution. His footsteps must have shown in the feather-weight snow and the commanding officers tolerated no more excuses from their subordinates.

Now it was close to afternoon on his second day of travel, hopfully deep into the forest, when he had witnessed a hasty movement in front of him from within the trees. Oh how he wished it was an animal, maybe a deer which he could shoot with his old weapon. But inwardly he feared and knew: it was another man, maybe a soldier just like himself. He had glimpsed a figure of average height, but definitely bigger than any wild animal, and a swirl of very dark, supposedly black hair. It could be either enemy or friend. Which was the case in this instance, he didn't know yet, although he doubted to find any friends or allies here. After having deserted his company, everybody was an enemy.

Agron didn’t dare to move behind his doubtful hide-out for the obvious reason that he couldn’t be sure if the other man carried any weapons with him or not. He had come so far already in such a short time, had escaped nearly certain death with his desertion, so he wasn’t willing to take any unnecessary risks now. If this meant that he had to wait for any movement or mistake the other made, then he was going to do so. This man was surely not as strong as himself considering his smaller frame, but he had to be fit enough judging by the quick way with which he had taken refuge in front of Agron behind some low fir trees. And if he had escaped the army as well, he was not to be trusted lightly. 

Agron knew that many had done the same as him, and every soldier who found and brought back a deserter was likely to be rewarded by the superiors. Not to speak of the gruesome rumours they told each other in the tunnels, which spoke of cannibalism and other abominations. The other man was very likely to turn a trick on him, so he had to be smarter and faster to stay safe. His gun of the “Mauser” model, fabricated in 1898, allowed him five shots after which he had to reload, and he would use the old rifle by any means, if need be.

On the other side he shouldn’t wait too long, because he was still cold and anxious and he wanted to walk on as fast as he could, to let possible persecutors fall back behind him. He would have preferred to reach Saint-Laurent-sur-Othain today, a little village where he hoped to discover a more comfortable hide-out for the night, before he could find a way to cross the river there on the next day. And that was already all he knew about the difficult road ahead of him; luckily he was in possession of a stolen compass, but unfortunately, he had no map. 

Silence was the only thing he heard the following minutes, silence and the drumming inside of his tired ears, the steady beating of his heart. He tried to make himself smaller behind the bushes, tried to gather some strength and courage. The other man was surely waiting for him to show a sign of weakness, too.  
And yet nothing changed over a long time, while Agron was waiting. The sun moved further over the clear blue sky, brilliantly illuminating the wonderful winter landscape, as if nothing special, nothing bad like war, hate and complete destruction had ever happened in this region. While the populations of two and more countries laid in tears and most villages were burnt, nature was calmly regenerating from the exhaustions of the last year. That’s probably how it should be.

Agron was bored soon. But still, he didn’t dare to move. He also began to doubt his senses: so what if the other had already sneaked off without him noticing? You couldn’t miss a grown man’s steps in the snow while everything else was silent, could you? Or had the impression of someone’s figure in a distance of several metres only been a product of his overactive imagination, because his sudden liberation had cost him his mind? 

So he contemplated what to do, and there were not too many options. Storming forward and attacking the man would expose himself too much, but simply firing into the fir trees was taboo also, as he lacked munitions. Silently retreating and hoping the other would not follow him was unimaginable, to put it mildly.

He waited some more and finally, after what felt like hours, there was a silent, nearly shy cough to be heard. Agron was alarmed immediately and felt almost relieved that he wasn’t only imagining the other person. Then, after a few seconds, there was some movement occurring; something rose from behind the fir trees, whose branches shook slightly, shook off the soft snow, as if to let go of their timeless weight. A dark figure moved slowly to the side and out of its hide-out. For an instant Agron deeply admired this man who was so courageous to show all of his unprotected body to him, without bearing a gun or any other visible weapon.

For longer than a few seconds they stared intensely at each other, a short moment only which seemed like an eternity to the German soldier. He had not seen another human face for over a day now, for which he had been very grateful at that time, but now, everything seemed to change again. His destiny and his chance to arrive at home safely were in question again. Slowly and still not quite believing, Agron raised his rifle, which was ready to be fired.

The other’s brown, intent eyes stared at him in earnest, before the small man opened his hands to show that he was unarmed. Then, the calm voice spoke to him, using slow, but clear and accurate German words: “You see, I’m alone and without weapon, and I’m not your enemy. I’m Nasir Temiz.” 

Agron didn’t know what to make of this man. “You’re French, are you not? Yet you’re of rather dark complexion”, he replied immediately after taking a quick glance at the soldier in front of him.

Nasir didn’t seem overly impressed by this statement. “I’m French indeed, but I think war is over now. At least it should be for us. You look just as tired as I feel.”

“I’m not so tired that my bullets would miss you if you pull a trick on me”, Agron declared, gesturing towards his heavy gun, which was still raised.

“Oh, I see”, Nasir answered friendly, letting his eyes travel over the German and his weapon. “Look, let’s try something different. Obviously we’re on the same page here. I want to go somewhere safe, and I’m sure you’re about to do the same. So why not go together? You’re heading north, I guess? Or northeast?”

Agron stilled, unsure of what to do. The other seemed to be serious, maybe even harmless, but that might be some manipulative shit in the end. They had been warned repeatedly not to fall to the tricks and lies of the enemies, and the French were the perfect definition of being deceitful in the eyes of German officials, as they were seen as arrogant, vivid, overly good looking and smooth-tongued people. This seemingly too nice, weird guy could be just that! So he wanted to get some more information first before coming to a conclusion: “Why are you speaking German?”

Nasir had the nerves to smile, completely ignoring the rifle which was still aimed at him from a distance of about five meters. “My grandmother is of German ancestry; she lives in Malmedy which is close to the German border. That’s my destination for the time being. And as I said, I’m no threat to you. Why should I travel alone when there is an alternative? With a companion everything would be easier.”

Agron snorted. “Maybe you would like my gun more than me as a companion, so tomorrow the sun would shine on my corpse after you killed me during night time.”

Nasir grinned at him. “Then I would still be alone in the middle of nowhere, maybe with a gun, but with not much more. I would like someone to keep me sane after all this horrific fighting, to make jokes together and to lighten up the mood. If you don’t speak French, it’s absolutely fine with me.”

Agron would have laughed if the situation had not been so totally out of mind. How could he make jokes with this guy when his comrades were killed to thousands, when beloved Duro was dead, when there were not enough graves to put the dead bodies into, because the soil was frozen most of the time? How could he think to put on any joyful mood, when he still didn’t know if his family was well?

When Agron still stayed silent, just looked at him incredulously, the other man added: “We could go hunting together; I know how to prepare animal traps. And plus, I have a map.”

That’s what finally did the trick on Agron. Deciding it was at least safe for now, he lowered his gun to look more closely at this Nasir Temiz, took in his light frame, the pretty worn uniform, similar to his own despite their different nationalities, and at that good looking face at last, which was of a light bronze colour and angular shape now in the sparse winter’s time. He guessed this French soldier would make a different impression in summer, when the sun kissed his skin until he was tanned all over. He had to be really beautiful then.  
Even now these intense, chocolate brown eyes beneath the helmet were looking at him just so, nearly begging him to give in to this crazy idea, so that Agron felt a tug on his heart, which he hadn’t felt in a life time. And what was most important: Nasir had a generous warmth in his eyes, which was real and welcoming and perfect for his tired, hopeless soul. 

Could he dare to believe this guy or would he regret it in the end? But he also knew: it was too late now, the decision was made already. Because he needed a map very badly. Because he wanted to trust in the friendly spoken and also sensible words, in the sincere intent in those beautiful eyes. Hell, he hadn’t had a real friend in ages, especially not in the last two years in the army. He could try travelling with Nasir, who was tricky and wicked maybe, but also more crazy and unpredictable than him, so that would leave himself to be the more intelligent of the two men. This Nasir would have no actual chance to deceive him, and everything else he would have to see.

Nasir understood the lowering of Agron’s rifle as the sign it was, took some steps closer and finally stood before Agron, who still felt hypnotised. The French soldier extended his hand slowly, with a questioning, but also solemn expression on his face, and Agron took it after staring at the limb for a second. Strong, but yet soft fingers curled around his own, as if to never let go again. This not overly large hand, it was so very warm indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

With mixed feelings of both hope and slight trepidation Agron gazed into the smaller man’s eyes, felt intensely drawn in by the impression of sincerity he again found there, until he finally became aware of himself and retracted his hand along with an uncomfortable cough. Nasir seemed to smile lightly, but accepted the break of contact gracefully enough to carefully scan their surroundings for possible threats afterwards. “It seems safe for now. Where are we heading to?”

Agron shrugged, likely to rid himself of feeling a bit insecure. “You mentioned you are in possession of a map?”

Nasir nodded, quickly reached inside his uniform and took the desired item out of an inner layer of his clothing. Quietly unfolding the small piece of paper, it became clear that the promised ’map’ merely consisted of a few faint lines and names scratched upon the backside of an old letter. Agron was forced to take a step closer to gain a better look at it, at the same time inconspicuously admiring some black strands of hair poking out from under the man’s helmet. His brows were dark and strong, the full lips tightened in concentration, the intense gaze of the brown eyes lowered onto his map. The wide, softly curved nose, so nice-looking, yet so foreign, reminded Agron again of his former distrust in Nasir. How come he had a grandmother of German ancestry? It was fucking unbelievable, and Agron felt the pressing urge to take a further look into the smaller man’s dubious story. 

Soon they agreed on the hopefully best path to take, as there were not many alternatives after all, if they wanted to avoid all remaining troop stations and bands of soldiers which in all probability also roamed the wide forests to go hunting and seek for deserters like them. So they would march further through the forests in north-eastern direction until they were forced to cross the nearest river in about two day’s time. Actually a net of many small streams and rivers lay ahead of them, and Agron wondered how they should cross these obstacles without one of them drowning or freezing to death in the ice cold water. Most bridges close to villages were destroyed or under control of the German army. But for now other matters seemed more pressing, as he still had to put a safe distance between himself and the troops he had escaped from.

Walking along Nasir was a thing to behold in itself. Agron was moving on forcefully, fully taking advantage of his long, powerful legs, just to test if the other man would be able to keep up with him. He could. How he did it, and more specifically, why he did it, why Nasir was so determined that they should keep together from now on, remained a mystery to Agron, though he guessed Nasir to seek protection more than a real friend or comrade. Maybe he even wanted Agron to carry him trough the river the following day so that Agron would become wet, while Nasir would be saved from the cold. But that was So not going to happen! 

From time to time, their gazes met, Agron’s curious one drifting over the other’s smaller stature. Nasir smiled again and finally gave voice to his thoughts: “Go ahead; ask your questions.”

“Questions?” Agron asked in a rather dumb fashion.

“I fear you will burst if you try to contain them any longer. I understand your caution, but there is no need for it here. So please, just fire away.”

So Agron said the first thing on his mind: “Why did you leave?”

Nasir raised his eyes to Agron’s green ones while moving forward at the same time. “For the same reasons as you did, I presume. I want to see my mother again. I wanna live, be happy. I look forward to sleep in a real bed again, instead of always being cold and afraid.”

“You don’t seem so much afraid” Agron mentioned casually.

“No, I’m not afraid of big Germans” Nasir replied rather cheekily. 

This prompted Agron to stop dead in his tracks, shaking his head mildly, too puzzled by the other man. Were all French people as open and forward, even flirty, as this one? But of course he didn’t know, meeting travelling foreigners had been a rare thing to occur in the little village he had called home. “Do you always speak in this manner? I could kill you with my bare hands, you know…”

“You will not” Nasir said decidedly.

Agron finally crossed his arms in front of his massive chest. “And what makes you so sure of that?” 

The smaller man shrugged his shoulders and averted his gaze. “Intuition, perhaps. But don’t mistake my chatter for carelessness. For many months I was afraid, terrorized even. You know how it was like, you have endured the same things as me: the explosions, the dead bodies everywhere, the lack of food and sleep.” With a relieved smile, Nasir gazed up and into the clear blue sky which shone through the tree tops. “It’s peaceful here and I’m free at last.”

Agron nodded, this sentiment he could understand indeed. “Are you really French, and how come you have German relatives?”

“I was born in France, close to Paris actually, but my grandparents live in Alsace, where people of different countries have mixed up for a long time. I take after my father’s appearance; he was a Syrian who had immigrated to France.”

Agron again wasn’t able to contain his curiosity. “Was?”

“He’s been dead for some years, I never knew him well.” After a moment’s pause, Nasir mentioned: “I’m really hungry by now, Agron. We should go so that we can hunt later.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Agron mentally slapped himself as he noticed the momentary pity he felt for the smaller man. He was okay at the moment, having temporarily forgotten the primary needs of the body as his feet were warm after having marched for the last couple of hours and having eaten his leftovers of old bread just this morning. But Nasir was right, eventually they would have to eat something and find a possibility to heat up some snow so that they might drink it. And they would need to find a shelter for the night, too. 

Hours passed by spent in the solitude of their mainly silent movement. Agron still was wary, but felt more secure now in Nasir’s presence after he had secretly tested his faithfulness. When taking a piss nearby behind some trees, he had left his gun lying in the snow for his new comrade to watch over it and their surroundings, but not without having retreated its munitions inconspicuously beforehand while Nasir hadn’t looked. When coming back, the gun was unmoved; Nasir hadn’t even touched it once. Agron had smiled contentedly upon noticing that, dimples on full display.

While Agron was in a better mood afterwards, Nasir seemed to get more miserable with each step and each passing minute. Agron guessed hunger to be the cause for that, and for a time he contemplated what to do about it, but he came to no useful resolution. He still carried a bottle with some remnants of water with him, but simply hadn’t any food left, not even for himself. If he had, would he have shared it with Nasir? He didn’t know for sure, but he guessed yes, he would have. But it was of no use; his escape had been a relatively spontaneous one, having occurred when the opportunity had presented itself, therefore his supplies were sparse.

To distract the man from his misery, Agron spoke to him: “Are you cold?”

Nasir shook his head. “No.”

“But hungry?”

Again, the answer was short. “Yes, pretty much so.”

“What did you do for a living, before joining the troops?” Agron really was curious. Surely Nasir hadn’t been a farmer’s son as well, with his lighter frame and seemingly complicated ancestry.

“I’ve been training to become a metal smith in my home town.”

Agron was feeling slightly delighted. “A metal smith? That comes in handy in the army. Hence the animal traps that you also mentioned?” 

Nasir finally smiled. “Yes, I’ll show you.” He reached inside his uniform again and extracted a small metal construction, then unfolding it carefully. It looked kind of like a mouse trap, but with a stronger, yet elegant frame. “I crafted this myself; it has been in using since I came to join the army. It has proven most useful.”

The taller man looked sceptical. The trap was rather small; you couldn’t catch a tall animal with it, a little hare at maximum. “What kind of animals did you catch with it?”

Nasir’s face fell instantly and he looked apologetic. “It was set up in the tunnels. So rats, mostly.”

Agron huffed heatedly. “You wanna feed me rats? Are you serious, man?”

“Yeah. Sorry if you hoped for something better. I would eat any rat now, with fur and everything.”

“Nah, it’s okay”, Agron patted Nasir’s shoulder comfortingly. “So we’ll try to catch you some fat rats. Maybe we can reach one of the villages tomorrow and search their barns. I’d like some cooked eggs now with warm bread, fresh from the oven. Or some nice sausages, if they happen to have a butcher.”

Nasir sighed inwardly. “Agron?”

“Yes?”

“I appreciate your German appetite and all, but this is So not helping. Please stop, you’re making me even hungrier.”

Agron grimaced and nodded. “Sorry.”

 

They took a short break after another hour of walking, to sit on a fallen tree side by side. Again they took a look at the map, checked Agron’s compass and concluded that they still were heading into the right direction. The forest still looked the same as before: fir trees changed with birches, some lonesome beeches and the occasional oak. The snow was not overly deep; they only had to be careful while walking through the brushwood, as it could cause them to fall down.

Then again, they walked for several miles, until the sun nearly touched the horizon and they found themselves close to a small stream, were they would at least not remain thirsty. 

“We will stay here for the night?” Nasir asked, retrieving his dubious trap and settling it on the ground, close to a small hole in the ground where some small animals might be hiding. 

“I would say so.” Agron looked around. Some minutes earlier he had seen an old oak of enormous build which seemed to be hollow from the inside. As they had not yet encountered a better shelter, it would have to be enough for tonight and would probably provide for a more comfortable and warmer night’s rest than on the previous day, when he still had been alone.

Their preparations for the night were quickly done, as there was not much left to do after all. They drank from both Agron’s water bottle and from the stream and removed some rotten leaves from inside the oak. The ground underneath was dry, as parts of the tree’s massive bark had also fallen inside and provided for nearly perfect insulation. Agron would even have been happy about it, if his stomach had not been grumbling as well. Then finally they settled down, with their backs resting against the inside of the tree and their tired feet in direction to the small opening, in the mean time waiting for any animal to get caught.

It was very dark within the oak. Their shoulders brushed when one of them moved slightly. Nasir’s stomach growled loudly. 

“Shall we have to wait for long?”

Nasir sighed sadly. “Maybe we won’t catch anything tonight. I’m sorry. Please tell me something, Agron, something about you.”

“Hmm, let’s see… I’m tired. I wanna be home in my bed with my stomach full of all the good stuff. Not much more to tell…”

“I hoped for a better story. Something of your life at home or some funny jokes or experiences you made.”

Agron chuckled softly. “Are you always this tiresome?” 

“According to my brother, yes” Nasir huffed amusedly. Then he became serious the very next instant. “I don’t know if he yet lives.”

Agron whispered, suddenly with a lump in his throat: “My brother, Duro, is dead. I miss him.”

Nasir said nothing, but Agron felt the softest of touches on his wrist nonetheless. He didn’t mind the touch, it was far more agreeable than some platitudes of sorrow and pity could have been. “Are all French guys similar to you?”

Nasir stiffened. “Similar in which way?”

“You’re… not what I expected” Agron admitted with some difficulty. “I was taught to hate you, to hate all and every French.” This was the truth, and Agron had hated all French before encountering Nasir. Yet he had difficulty seeing the other young man as an enemy. That might have been because of his mixed heritage, but it was not just that. Hell, he liked Nasir, liked him a lot, although Agron was not yet to hundred percent sure of his trustworthiness.

“I’m just some guy, Agron, some soldier thrown into this hell. Just like you are.”

The taller man slowly nodded to himself. Nasir had to be bright and smart for having come to this conclusion and had probably done so sooner than he himself had. Fuck the gods; Agron was only now beginning to realize the implications of the too long war and its strenuous fights. And what they might mean… All the dead, thousands and hundred thousands of men, women and children dead, and for what? It was simply awful.

The light touch on his arm intensified for just a second, until Nasir stood and left their shelter. “I’m checking up on the trap, will be back in a minute or so.”

Then Agron was momentarily left alone with his troublesome thoughts and contemplations. This journey would prove to be really interesting, and he wasn’t sure if he should rather dread or welcome its outcomes. The night had yet to come, to bring new trials and tribulations.

 

Nasir came back soon, too soon. “There was nothing in it. Simply nothing. We can’t even eat grass, as it’s frozen.” He settled beside Agron again and after a minute of shifting uncomfortably, they lightly rested against each other, back against back. It did not help much to preserve warmth, but it comforted the German nonetheless. 

Agron wanted to help his new found comrade though feeling rather useless. “We can try digging for roots tomorrow, although I’m afraid I don’t know which ones would be edible and which wouldn’t. Or…” Agron smirked amusedly “you could eat your map, as it’s obviously not worth for much.”

“Eat my map? Agron, how can you?” Nasir huffed with indignation and jolted Agron’s thigh enthusiastically. “You dumb German, you’re just mean!”

The tall man laughed heartily and felt intensely tempted to ruffle Nasir’s hair, but he knew he shouldn’t. Despite the absurdity of their situation they had fallen into a comfortable camaraderie over the course of the day, had even talked about their respective family, but eventually he should draw a line somewhere. It was not totally impossible that they met other French soldiers in the following days, and on the instant that happened Nasir would surely turn his back on him.

Having this in mind, he exclaimed: “Just wanted to reaffirm the stories your commanding officers told you about us wild barbarians. We definitely would eat anything, you know…”

“Yeah, yeah...” Nasir waved it off good-naturedly. After a little more banter they decided to make better use of time and finally get a hopefully good night’s sleep. Both soldiers had already taken off their helmets, as they were too uncomfortable to sleep with. Really stretching their legs unfortunately was not an option for both men, as the space was far too limited.  
Agron nonetheless fell asleep pretty fast. When he woke up once in the middle of the night he noticed that they had somewhat slided to the ground, lying curled up on their side with Nasir in front of him. He pulled the other man tighter against his chest and slept some more.


	3. Chapter 3

Agron was jolted awake when he heard the snapping of his rifle being made ready to shoot. Instantly moving up and forward, he quickly grabbed the weapon by its end and pulled it out of Nasir’s able hands and closer to his own body. Raging furiously, he slapped Nasir in the face with his free hand, before the other man could have said something to excuse his actions. “I knew you’d pull some tricks on me in the dead of night, you fucker! You French asshole! But blame on me for starting to trust you. Now please tell me what I should do with some shit like you!”

“Agron…” Nasir threw his arms up in a hopeless attempt to defend himself, trying to stop the German from coming to false conclusions and punishing him for it.

“No, we’re done for now. I’m done with you! And all kidding aside, I should knock you out now and leave you to the wolves. I’m sure they will be as hungry as you.” 

“Agron, there was a deer right in front of us. I only tried to shoot it.” Nasir lowered himself closer to the ground to look outside of their shelter. “It’s gone. Oh you dumb Neanderthal man, what have you done!” Not minding what Agron did, Nasir slid out of the oak to stand in front of it and watch after the quickly retreating backside of the well-fed roe deer. When Agron did the same and appeared at his side, the German did not only see proof of Nasir’s words as well, but also caught the smaller man holding a slightly trembling hand to his hurt cheek, at the same time showing a look of earnest desperation in his wet eyes. Nasir was close to tears. 

Agron instantly felt sorry for his harsh words and unjustified actions and pulled the French soldier closer to him. “I’m sorry, Nasir. I’m so sorry…”

Nasir was softly sobbing into his shoulder by now, silently cursing at Agron. “You fool, you chased it off… I wanted to kill it and roast its meat over a nicely burning camp fire; it would have been so good.” Nasir raised his fists and stormed Agron’s chest with them, punching blow after blow at his stiff uniform. But there was no real force behind it, as he was still crying, so Agron endured the half-hearted attacks patiently, knowing he deserved this and more. “What are we gonna eat today? My stomach hurts I’m so hungry. And what have I done to you to gain so much distrust? Agron, just answer me!”

But the German had no answer to that question. Nothing, besides having done what his officers had once told him to: to hit the enemy, to place trust in no one and to seek revenge for the already wounded and fallen. “I would see it undone if I could. And I…I will not see you miserable with hunger any longer. I will see to it, I promise.” Carefully stroking Nasir’s shoulders, he deeply looked into the other’s eyes, wanting to erase all the pain he found there.

Of course Nasir’s tears had not only been a product of the recent events, but also of the mental distress he had been put trough in the last couple of months. Agron himself had now only provoked the outburst of these strong emotions, but nonetheless, he wanted to help, to offer a touch of comfort instead of hurting the other man further. He suspected Nasir to be only a few years younger than himself, too young to witness the cruelties of war, but also too trustful in strangers.

Nasir, now slowly ceasing to shed tears, reacted to his proud promise: “How will you accomplish such a thing?”

“Today we get close to this village we spoke of yesterday, which is called Saint-Laurent-sur-Othain.” The German tried to pronounce the difficult syllables, his result being close to sounding like ‘Sent-Loront-sür-Othen’. “There they will have something to eat."

Nasir took notice of the wrong pronunciation with a weak smile and exclaimed with false outrage: “You wanna steal food from poor village people?”

Agron shrugged his wide shoulders. “They will have more than us. And seeing as I can’t bring the trees to grow apples and plums for you, this plan will have to do. But we can check your trap first.” Then tenderly cradling Nasir’s hurt cheek in his big, cold fingers, he asked: “Are you okay otherwise? All teeth still intact?”

The French soldier smiled softly and averted his gaze, suddenly seeming very shy. “Yes, I’m okay. But we have to speak about trust, and about the journey we’re going to take. I thought I had gained your trust yesterday, and by the way, of course I noticed your little ploy with the gun in the snow. I’m not dumb, you know.”

Again, Agron was mesmerized. “No, you’re not; you’re one hell of a clever guy.” Finally, he took his rifle from the ground and pulled on his old helmet. Nasir did the same, and Agron was sorry to see the beautiful mass of black long hair disappear beneath his headgear. Then they walked in direction of the small stream, where they soon found the smaller man’s trap, untouched and empty. Nasir sighed sadly, but stayed silent otherwise.

To cheer him up, Agron attempted to joke. “Come on, little man, let’s finally put this episode behind us and try for a little jump over the stream. I’m going first, or will you need help with that? I might even push you over the water.”

“How dare you?” Nasir shouted while picking up his trap, quickly folding and putting it back into some inside bag of his uniform. “Don’t call me that!”

Agron chuckled softly, in the mean time taking one full step to reach the other side of the stream and managing easily enough. Nasir, although he wasn’t hindered with the carriage of a big weapon as Agron was, had to somewhat fasten his last steps before jumping off the water’s edge to gain enough speed to reach the other side without getting his feet wet. 

Once there, he jolted the German’s shoulder. “You can repay me by giving me the bigger portion of food when, or should I say if, we happen to find something.”

“Agreed.” Yeah, he could do that, Nasir deserved it. It was indeed a beautiful morning, the soft dew rising above the half frozen meadows, the sun’s rays broken in the damp atmosphere. They would travel along the forest’s edge for some time now. Having grown up close to nature, Agron knew there were probably a dozen wild animals close by at this very moment, hiding or dozing in their holes, although it certainly seemed as if nature had abandoned them to die of hunger. He would be patient, but alert at all times, to be ready to shoot at any second.

After walking in silence for some moments, Agron mentioned casually: “So you wanted to speak to me about trust.”

“Yeah, I do” Nasir turned his head to look at him in earnest and put his hands to the taller man’s shoulder. “Agron, you have to put some trust in me! Yes, I’m French, but I do have some German blood in me. And this war has to finally find its end, maybe even soon. We paid enough already. I paid enough in blood and pain. Or do you really want to fight me, want me to be your enemy?”

Agron shook his head decidedly. “No, I don’t. I mean, I would like to kill off the guy who murdered my brother. I’m aching for it, actually. But you can’t be that guy and I’m tired.” Nasir really couldn’t be this French asshole, who had stolen Duro away from this world, could he? No, it was impossible, as Duro had fought in Arras while Nasir was here with him close to the German borderline, and in between lay about 200 miles of wide forests, marchland, even mountains. 

He brought his own hands up to lay them gently upon Nasir’s arms which still rested on his shoulders, staring fascinated into the other’s face, into the so young, so innocent eyes. Hell, Duro would also have liked him. Had he had a friend like Nasir in his childhood years and also during the last couple of months in the combat tunnels, for them to fight side by side, some things might have turned out completely different. He would have had more trust in people; he would have been able to share things with someone, sharing with someone who obviously cared, instead of always keeping to himself.

Nasir smiled brightly, pressing his shoulders insistently. “Let’s go to my grandparents’ house together. They will have enough to eat and a bed also for you, until you’re ready to leave. If you still have to hide then or need time to recover further or find a way home, we can figure out something.”

Agron felt unbelievably moved by the smaller man’s words, and in this instant he secretly vowed to make it up to him, to protect him always, and to honour the so generously offered friendship and companionship. Carefully he pulled Nasir closer, hugged him against his big chest, as if one would cradle a tender and frail new-born. For the first time in about two years, he felt happy, here in the middle of no man’s land, with aching feet, a hungry stomach and still a great distance to overcome.


	4. Chapter 4

Their mood upon this morning was a mostly joyous one, as they wandered about meagre fields and forests. Agron felt as if a heavy stone had been lifted off his chest. He couldn’t explain it to its depth, couldn’t fathom the reasons for being so happy, other than knowing: he was not alone anymore. He was going home. He had a trusted friend by his side, and life finally would be good again. 

Whenever Nasir complained of being tired or hungry, Agron would make a short stop, attempt to joke or tell him of his childhood dreams and adventures from back home. Together they searched a lot of holes for hares and the naked tree tops for birds. Tits and crows were observed from afar, but the first ones were too small to be hit by the bullets, the latter too clever to come closer. After an hour of walking, they passed another stream, from which they drank and used the cold, crystal clear water to clean their hands and faces. Further hygienic requirements couldn’t be met at this time and place in the world, and Agron also didn’t care too much about them.

Soon after, Nasir became very quiet once again, and Agron began to worry. “What is it, Nasir? Please speak to me so that I may be of help.”

Nasir sighed sadly. “My head just hurts, Agron.”

“Hmm, that can also be a side effect of hunger, I think. All the cold water in your stomach and nothing to chew on.”

“You promised to gather some food.”

Agron huffed amusedly. “When did I promise such a thing? I merely promised to give you the bigger portion of anything we might stumble upon.”

Nasir playfully nudged him in the side. “This you promised also.”

“I see… Okay, how about that? You’re hungry, Nasir? So let’s get you something…” Decidedly, the big German left their path along the forest’s edge and took some steps behind the line of bushes. Looking around, he quickly seemed to find what he was seeking. Kindly smiling, he turned to the smaller man. “There’s plenty of food, Nasir, just not the kind of food you were hoping for.”

Taking the French soldier by the hand, he led him further into the forest, until they came to halt in front of an unremarkable bush. Agron plucked some small leaves from it to bring them to his mouth afterwards and to chew on them.

“Blackberries?” Nasir asked doubtfully.

“Yes, just without the berry part.”

“Oh…” When Nasir still looked unsure and rather crestfallen, Agron couldn’t help himself. Teasingly, he plucked some of the blackberry leaves for him and held them in front of Nasir’s nose, gently taking hold of his chin with the other hand. “Here, have a taste.”

To Agron’s endless amusement, the French soldier carefully sniffed at the green leaves and then indeed took a bite right from the few leaves close to his nose. Agron chuckled, while Nasir chewed slowly. “Hmm, they’re not too bad, if a little hard and stiff. But thank you. How many of these will I have to eat for them to fill my stomach?”

“I don’t know, actually. I just knew they had to be edible, as my mother used them for tea also. But I guess you’d have to eat a lot to be full.”

“Then I will attempt to do so. At least my stomach gets something after more than a day of being starved.” 

Nasir was busy eating, while Agron also ate some more leaves and regarded his companion in earnest contemplation. Finally giving voice to his thoughts, he exclaimed: “Your French diets have been no good? As you folks are seen as gourmets in general, I would have expected you to have been better off than us. But you do look a little underfed.”

Nasir shot him a dark look. “What’s that supposed to mean? Not all of us can be built like an oak despite being put on an involuntary diet. I also used to be sturdier, you know, before the war began.”

Agron lightly patted the smaller man’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “I meant no harm. I would have liked to see you then. And your form is just fine to me.”

Just as the German realised what he had said, Nasir turned his face to him and regarded him with an incredulous look. Silence fell heavy between them. Then Nasir instantly dropped his head, shyly lowering his gaze, while a faint shimmer of red appeared on his cheeks. Agron was mesmerized, wanted to reach out and touch the soft skin, but he didn’t dare.

Soon they returned to their former path, finally also finding rose hips, from which they ate in abundance. These fruits of course were not fresh, but from last autumn’s growth, still overly rich in content of sugars and vitamins. Nasir also seemed to have forgotten about their earlier quarrels and misunderstandings and attempted to tease Agron by putting some of the slightly irritating seeds into the German’s uniform. The latter good-naturedly let himself be teased and chased by the quick moving French soldier and at last reciprocated by throwing snow balls at him.  
But just as Agron had gained a sure hold on Nasir with an arm around his neck to drown him in the snow, there was a loud, earth-shattering noise to be heard from afar. An explosion, coming from the direction where they had travelled from. It was not possible for the ground to shake so far away from the actual happening, but it sure felt that way to Agron. Then another, quieter explosion followed the first. The dull echo reverberated on the forest’s ground and effectively put a stop to their high spirits. This was war, and it would maybe never, ever stop.

Agron instantly released his hold on Nasir and stood. “They are still fighting. We should hurry up now to put some bigger distance between us and the front-line.”

“Yeah, you’re right” Nasir shook off some of the snow and hastened to close up to Agron. They half expected for more proofs of actual fights to be heard, but their intent listening was met with utter silence. Still, this had been a sign that they had indeed to better pay attention to their surroundings and should speed up now.

And it also reminded Agron of one not so unimportant thing. “Nasir, are you in possession of any weapon at all, or do we just have my old rifle? If so, we should try to find you one. We can meet strangers any time now, or people coming after us, and I want to be prepared.”

The addressed man, always teasing, didn’t pass up the opportunity to quarrel with the German some more. “So now you don’t only want to steal food, but weapons as well.”

But Agron just rolled his eyes. “Nasir…”

Nasir smirked. “Yes, indeed I have something. A dagger, an heirloom from my father.”

“A dagger? And what it’s good for?”

“For many things. Maybe you’ll see.”

Agron didn’t comment on that, but was doubtful of a dagger being a very useful weapon on their journey. Sure, it could be used to cut meat, should they ever happen to come across a deer again. But other than that… They also couldn’t openly go into the village with his gun, couldn’t go there at day’s time at all, as too many questions would arise from the inhabitants. They would gain too much attention, especially with their uniforms and being a so unequal pair, and would soon find themselves caught, interrogated and locked away, probably sent back to the troops to being eliminated afterwards. No, they had to act with both caution and trickery, waiting at the village’s border for an opportunity to gather food and discover a resting place for the night.

\+ + + 

It took them about two more hours to reach Saint-Laurent-sur-Othain, which was a little rural community, consisting merely of farm houses, barns, the belonging fields and gardens, plus the unavoidable church and small post station. Nasir and Agron kept looking for obvious dangers lurking there, hiding side by side in a bush close to the forest’s edge they had left some minutes ago, but only observed peace and calmness. And poverty for sure, as there were no farm animals to be seen on the now brown and grey meadows. All of the farmer’s horses had probably been sent to war a long time ago, forcibly removed from their owners to serve a higher, more honourable goal. Winter had been hard so far, and with troops of both nations so close, the remaining villagers had learned the hard way to become cautious of strangers, intrusions and robbery. What was left of their possessions would be carefully guarded. But also, many men had been sent to war as well, leaving the sick and old people, women and children behind. 

Nasir gently nudged him in the side. “How are we progressing from this position?”

“Hmm… I suppose we try to get around the village until an opportunity presents itself. We must search for an open barn, buildings for livestock or deserted houses. One of us has to stand guard while the other takes a peek inside.”

“I see. So you’ll be the one to sneak inside while I wait out there for you, and as you trust me with your gun now, I’ll also care for this part.” Nasir beamed so much that the white of his teeth was showing.

Agron glared at the other man, countering Nasir’s smug grin. “You’re getting cheeky. Don’t stretch my patience, little man.” 

“Please don’t call me that, or I might be forced to take an early leave from you” Nasir exclaimed only half-jokingly, measuring the German with a heated gaze.

They did exactly as spoken of before, nearly surrounding the small village, until a small and deserted, with hazel bushes and young maple trees bordered path led them closer to the houses, first of all to a small hut which was so tiny that nobody could live in it. It soon was found to be a storage room and completely void of anything of further interest to them. But it gave them entrance to the small garden of the property through a backwards door which was easily opened with some help of Agron’s big strong hands.

Carefully peeking through the small opening in the door frame, the German grinned and pulled Nasir closer to his side. “Do you see that? I recognized the sound from home, but I wasn’t sure until now. Today we’re lucky.”

“A hen house! Agron, you’re just unbelievable. But the owner must be near.”

“Yeah, but we can’t wait here all fucking day. We’ll wait for some minutes to simply observe. If nothing happens in that time, we should both have a look to search for eggs, take as many as possible, and then retreat to eat them here in solitude. The hens should be relatively used to people coming in.”

“But not used to wolves in sheep’s clothing” Nasir whispered delighted.

“You’re cheeky again” Agron huffed. “You should be a little more thankful for being protected by your big friendly German comrade. And I’m totally fine with chickens, you’ll see.”

The French soldier merely smiled and huddled closer to Agron so that they both could take a look through the clearance between door frame and leaf. Waiting some more, they listened intently to any conspicuous noises, but besides the calm gaggling of the hen and their quiet scratching on the ground of their pen nothing could be heard. This village really seemed pretty deserted by everyone. For sure they had seen an elderly woman hanging her washing from afar and noticed a farmer doing repairs on his horse buggy, had also seen some very young children playing in the dirt. But other than that it had been eerily quiet when taking the sunny weather into consideration. Unknown dangers must be lurking somewhere, and Agron feared them instinctively. 

But as he noticed Nasir’s small form so close to his again and how the other man seemed to put so much trust in him, he decided not to care about war and death at the moment. Soon they decided to start their little trip into the hen house, leaving the storage hut behind them to sneak through the lonely garden, at the same time hoping fiercely that no curious neighbour might catch sight of them.

And again they were fortunate, opening the small hut to find about ten hens inside and the cock luckily absent, and this was indeed an essential part of their trip, as such a dominant animal could have made so much noise that the owners would be alarmed. But although the hens gazed curiously at the new arrivals and gaggled some, they didn’t panic upon seeing them. Agron huddled closer to the ground, searching the meagre hay for the precious eggs. Nasir found the first one, gently pushing one of the hens to the side to gather it. He smiled blindingly, showing it to Agron while speaking: “It’s still warm.”

“Great, you did well. Oh, I also have found one.”

Hurriedly they searched the rest of the hen house, finding two more eggs. So it was going to be two eggs for each of them, which was not much, but it had to do for now. The hen had gaggled some more, hastening through their small housing to get away from the soldiers, but not to a noise level where potential owners or neighbours would be disturbed from their midday slumber. Balancing the precious products of their chase in their hands, Agron and Nasir carefully left again, wishing the generous hen only the best in regards to overall health and life-span. If they would stay close for this night’s rest, maybe they could again stop by to see if some more eggs had been produced in the mean time.

Back in the storage room, they happily slurped the eggs in silence, their shoulders brushing occasionally. The taste was strange and unusual, but heavenly at the same time. Swallowing the rest of the egg white down and licking the eggshell clean, Agron wondered what to do with the remnants, as they couldn’t let them stay here for other people to see. They simply had to take the eggshells with them, to trash them somewhere in the forest.

Then Nasir suddenly rested his head upon his shoulder, carefully and feather-light. The contact lasted only for a couple of seconds, as he stiffened and Nasir retreated instantly, obviously fearing the proud German’s outburst. Which did not come. Instead, something different happened, as the wooden door to the garden was opened slowly and squeaking, illuminating the rather thin figure of another man. As the inside of the hut was very dark, Agron couldn’t really distinguish more of his form. He just knew: he and Nasir had to escape now, and as fast as possible. 

In the next instant, the deep, rather old voice spoke to them, obviously the owner of this property: “What you’re doing in here, are you stealing my possessions?” 

Agron hurried to stand up, pulling Nasir with him and grabbing his rifle with the other hand. But as they meant to retreat through the backwards door to the path which had taken them here, the old man had managed to get hold of a hayrick, effectively hitting it on the French soldier’s head. Nasir weakly stumbled against him, so Agron took hold of his arm and pulled the door wide open. 

Together they fled, loosing some of the eggshells on their way. Not caring if anyone could see them, they ran to the close forest’s edge. Nasir had soon recovered from the unforeseen attack and began to laugh and giggle in an uncontrolled fashion once they were back in the bushes, obviously still delighted. ‘The little man has gone crazy’ was Agron’s prompt thought, but he just pulled Nasir to him and hugged him hard, simply enjoying the moment. Who knew if the old man would cause them to be sought after, who knew if they still lived to see another day? They would just have to hold on strong.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sometimes I'm a bit insecure with my writing, with the language part and everything. I would be eternally grateful to receive some kind of feedback. Doesn't mean you have to write long reviews, just some would be nice. :-)

Nasir reacted to Agron’s embrace by hesitantly putting his arms around the German’s waist. Then, after a short moment of about two seconds, the contact already was broken, each of them stepping back a little. Agron carefully grasped Nasir’s wrists while asking: “Are you okay? You don’t need treatment for broken bones or an injured head?”

“Oh, my head is fine; this helmet was good for something at last.” Nasir pulled the head gear off and set it down on the ground. “I really hate that thing.”

Agron chuckled, also ridding himself of his helmet. “We still need more food, but we can’t stay here for long. If I knew there was another village close by, we could travel there. There is none according to your map.”

“But we must hurry in case they will go after us. And they will, won’t they? The eggs have been good and all and I’d really like some nice bread with sausages, but our safety should come first, sadly” Nasir said.

“You’re right. Let’s observe for some minutes longer, then we’ll be on our way again.”

So it was settled for now. After a couple of minutes Agron and Nasir actually witnessed some agitation in the close village. A few men and older boys soon gathered on the small market, each of them bearing arms in form of old guns, but also push sticks and pitchforks. Then the small group walked forward, purposefully marching into their direction, although these men couldn’t really have spotted their hide-out behind the bushes from so far away. But the hens’ owner obviously hadn’t been so easily tricked to lose sight of their escape path. Clearly it was time to go now. The two soldiers left their hiding place and retreated into the forest, then hastened along the trees to reach the forest edge on another side of the village. As they had rested enough beforehand, they didn’t have to overexert themselves too much. 

It took them less than two hours until they were sure that they had left all persecutors behind, so they fell back to their previous speed, walking on steady, but not too fast for either of them. Yet again hungry, Agron had no clue what to serve his little man this time, as they couldn’t feast on blackberry leaves and rose hips all day.  
Their worries were doubled when they heard a loud noise from afar which grew only louder the closer they got. Agron’s guess soon proved to be accurate when he recognised the alarming noise as the noise of large amounts of running water. 

Nasir halted in his steps to put a tentative hand on Agron’s arm. “That’s the river we must cross, is it not?”

“Yes, I’m afraid it is. Let’s consult your map again.” 

But the map could only point out what the two men had already known beforehand: they had to cross the river sooner or later, or couldn’t reach any of their homes at all. They weren’t ready to test the water yet; it was clearly too deep to just walk through, and even if they found a more shallow part of it, they could hardly risk getting not only their feet, but also their pants and uniform jackets wet, as the overall temperatures were too cold most of the night and part of the day. They could have swum across if it was just about ten degrees warmer, but they couldn’t afford to wait for better weather for weeks or longer. Building a boat or raft seemed the most sensible thing to do after all, but they lacked tools as well. And still they were pretty hungry and tired by now, too. 

After a few minutes of rest they hesitantly agreed to walk along the river for some miles, until they found a possibility to cross it or stumbled over a suitable shelter for the night at least. Some more hours of walking passed by, both of them soon complaining about swollen feet and aching backs. They drank from the river, the water was fresh and clear, but they still lacked possibility to fill their stomachs. Agron longed for former days from back at home, when he just went into his mother’s kitchen to grab a slice of bread, perfect with lot of butter and homemade marmalade on top of it. All of this was gone and far away now; he hadn’t been home in nearly two years. Would he ever see his mother again? Uta Jäger, much beloved mother of both him and the younger Duro, forever caring, hard-working and showing the utmost patience for her two wild, proud sons. Oh how she must have wept for Duro! And he hadn’t been there to hold and comfort her!

A big lump in his throat formed and he averted his gaze from their path to gaze upon the quickly moving water’s surface to stop the tears from flowing. And then he saw the animal nearby, challenging him to fire: quickly taking the rifle from his back and preparing it, he aimed to shoot. The bullet sped through the air loudly, aiming to find the lone duck near the water’s edge, the recoil effectively causing Agron to stumble. But the bullet missed its aim slightly, hitting the water and diving into it some centimetres beside the frightened animal. Agron cursed, seeing as the male duck hit the water's surface with his wings fast to get away from the immediate danger. The German hesitated for a second, not knowing if he could risk loosing another bullet with a second try. But he had already waited too long, and the duck took its last chance to speed up its movement and to finally rise into the air. Both men could only look after the fleeing animal, which would have fed them for several days.

Nasir was the first to speak: “Oh, Agron, I’m so sorry…”

“It seems we are cursed by the Gods. I have only a few bullets left now.” Agron gazed again upon the water’s surface, feeling close to despair now. This land had done no good for him. A wonder he was still in possession of all his limbs and in good health!

The small French put a comforting hand on his arm. “Agron, you nearly hit it, your aim was good and your reaction really fast. We are safe for the moment and we have eaten something this day. There still is hope!”

“Easy to say for one whose home is only about 15 miles away from here. I yet have a much bigger distance to travel.”

Nasir’s brows furrowed lightly upon hearing that. “That’s easy for you to say, you with your intact gun and tall, strong form, with your confidence and your skin the colour of most people living here.”

This brought Agron to stop and contemplate what Nasir had said. The smaller man was right and he shouldn’t continue with this line of thought. He had let his misery cloud his thinking and had taken it out on Nasir. Carefully he brought one hand up to cradle the French soldier’s cheek. “Nasir, I… Please forgive my harsh words. They were unjust and spoken out of line.”

“I know, Agron. It’s okay though” Nasir said. He met the German’s gaze calmly, raising his hand as well to touch the other’s cheek. Tender fingertips, soft and light as sunshine, grazed Agron’s skin. The latter felt awed, his breath catching in his throat, feeling bewitched by the deep and sincere emotion he witnessed in Nasir’s beautiful eyes. This was real and honest. His earlier despair and sorrow were unquestionably pushed aside for now, but Nasir also had such a way of distracting him and getting to his inner core… This had to be the most beautiful, most meaningful moment of his life so far, shared with the most perfect being and with the best friend he had ever met. He wanted more of that, wanted this to last a whole lifetime. 

Nasir lovingly smiled at him, tenderly stroking his cheek, and then leaned closer. Agron wasn’t able to break their eye contact, enjoying too much getting lost in the other man’s deep gaze. Surly he could love this small French man. 

Then the quiet, slightly mistuned humming of an unknown melody, sung by another man, broke the precious moment. Both men stilled, and then Nasir took Agron by the hand and pulled him quickly behind some bushes. Before the German had fully come back to his senses, a lone, very young man, more likely a boy still, was passing them by without taking notice of their hide-out. Maybe only 16 years old and dressed like a simple worker, he strode away, not once glancing back or sideways.

Nasir spoke: “We must follow him, he may live somewhere close.”

Agron nodded. The sun already began to lower, seeking to complete her daily course towards the horizon and showering their surroundings in the most beautiful golden and red light. They still had more than one hour left until it would be completely dark, but until then they had to find a suitable shelter for the night and preferably a good meal as well. Both a challenge in such a short time, but it seemed they had found the best opportunity for the time being.

In a safe distance of more than two hundred metres they followed the boy to get to know his whereabouts. They kept close to the bushes as much as possible, carefully sneaking forward at the same time. Some time passed, and it grew darker around them. Because of their caution they couldn’t keep up with the boy and slowly, but surly, lost sight of him. This would have disturbed Agron if there hadn’t appeared a small shining light in the far distance suddenly. A small light coming from a lantern probably, which meant some people had to live there somewhere. Agron and Nasir slowed their stride soon, being mindful of more strangers to appear so close to their home.

Once they got closer, both men recognised the kind of building in front of them. It was a water mill, built beside a smaller branch of the river, which enabled the millwheel to function. The constant noise of it made it easier for the two soldiers to come closer without fearing of being noticed by the inhabitants. The whole spot consisted of three buildings: the biggest one a large house with the millwheel along with a smaller adjoining building, and one hut to the side which looked like a barn.  
The boy had apparently disappeared into the bigger house, as it was the only one that was lighted. Some laughter was to be heard from within, proofing that several people, maybe a family with the belonging aids and workers, lived there.

Agron and Nasir took position behind some mighty oaks, which easily grew tall and strong so close to the water. After long minutes of observing, they decided it was relatively safe to take a closer look at the whole property. While they didn’t dare to go into the main house, they soon found an entrance into the smaller building close to it, successfully breaking in by climbing through an open window on the backside, as the front door was tightly shut.  
All was dark inside, and it took a few seconds for their eyes to adjust, but then Agron would have jumped with joy, had he not feared being overheard. “That’s it! Nasir, we’ll have to celebrate. We will be so full our stomachs will hurt, and we won’t be able to move much tomorrow. Look around; aren’t we fortunate?”

Nasir stayed silent, too stunned by the sight of the precious food in front of them, but his eyes shone brightly even in the dark, and he grinned so wide that Agron longed to hug him again. Ahead of them were some racks of older fabricate, full with many jars filled with marmalade, fruits and vegetables. No bread though, no meat, no fish, but still more food than they had seen in a long time. An empty butter tub stood to the side, also some bottles of seemingly old wine and more empty containers. On the other side of the room some more things had found their way in, mainly tools, a broken sledge, shoes that needed repair and the like. It was a storage room, perfect for their intentions.

Finally Nasir spoke: “I dreamed of this stuff between the fights. I love cherries and all fresh fruits.”  
Grabbing the first jar in front of his eyes, Nasir made his interest known, but Agron halted him by quickly taking hold of his wrist.

“Patience, little man. We have to take the things from the rows behind, but not the first ones right at the front.”

“But once they notice we will be long gone.”

Agron huffed amusedly. “Yes, but we can’t be sure nobody will go in here tonight and not notice things have been stolen. We might come back tomorrow in the morning to take some more food, and until then it should look as if everything is untouched. My mother would have noticed such a thing upon the very first instant.”

Nasir sighed exaggerated. “Okay, Agron, you win. Just give me some cherries, you’re taller.”

“I’ll gladly give you cherries. Here you go.” Agron reached behind the first row of jars to get the mentioned fruits. After handing two jars to Nasir, he took some jars with preserved pears and apricots for himself. Although he knew the beans to be more energy-rich, they were still uncooked, and the sauerkraut would just lead to flatulence. So fruits it was going to be this dinner.

“Should we go to the barn to eat and sleep there?” the French soldier suggested.

“That seems to be our best option for now” Agron exclaimed. Carefully they retreated through the open window, gathering their stolen food close to their bodies as if it was the most valuable treasure of the world. The property still lay as deserted, the noise of the moving millwheel covering the noises they made while sneaking through the grass. Agron and Nasir soon found the barn to be empty besides a few sheep resting in the hay, which ogled them curiously, but gave no sound. Upon taking a closer look inside, Nasir discovered that the building had a second level on one side, with a small wooden ladder leading to it. Although the steps squeaked alarmingly beneath Agron’s considerable weight, they managed to get up there with their jars still intact.

Then the great feast was about to begin. Comfortingly settling into one corner, the jars were opened and the contents eagerly tasted. “Agron…” Nasir sighed delightedly, “I believe I've never had anything better. Thank you.”

“Why are you thanking me?” Agron wanted to know, enjoying the rich taste of the apricots and drinking from the fruits’ juice in between.

“I dunno. For all of this, I guess. When I met you yesterday, I wouldn’t have thought our journey together to become this eventful. And for us to be such a good team” Nasir suckled on one of his cherries and leaned closer to lean his head against Agron’s shoulder. It seemed the small man finally felt secure enough to initiate such a close contact.  
Agron halted in his thoughts, as the sudden contact irritated him somewhat. It was too soon, too much. Nasir trusted him too much, and they only had a couple of days together until they would arrive at the formers’ grandparents’ home, where their ways would inevitably part. But still the German felt torn inside. He longed to put an arm around Nasir, to hold him and stroke his hair. On the other hand things would get oh so very complicated if he let their friendship go to a deeper level. He realized the sick feeling in his stomach for what it was: this could never work out. It was sad, in a way, and what a coincidence to have met a stranger who was able to feel the same way. Nasir, who against all expectations had found a way into his heart, might be just perfect for him. But they had no time, no life together, nothing…

This realization hit him hard, and he had to take a deep breath to remain calm on the outside and to prevent his hands from starting to shake. Suddenly, the precious fruits didn’t taste so good anymore. And the worst was probably that he couldn’t openly speak with Nasir about this. Making his feelings known to him could only make matters worse, as Nasir would maybe start to hope for more.

Nasir finally noticed his stillness and asked: “Agron, is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah” Agron said, rubbing his left hand over his face, “don’t mind me, I’m just tired. I will get some hay from down below so that we can go to sleep soon.”

Not knowing if Nasir believed his farce or not, Agron stood, climbed the ladder again to get to the lower level of the barn to steal some hay from the sheep’s corner. They still ogled him curiously, and the German felt tempted to curse them for their sheer stupidity, tempted to curse everything which had led to this misery. But essentially he knew that he had to go on somehow. To get Nasir home, find a way home himself. And after that, he didn’t really care anymore. Maybe he wouldn’t make it so far at all, and this would be okay too.

After he got enough hay for them to sleep on, he sat close to Nasir again, but still kept his distance. The smaller man might have guessed that something was still bothering Agron, but didn’t pressure him on it, so they settled down to sleep soon.  
And somehow, easily, as if naturally, Nasir found his position in Agron’s embrace again, peacefully lying by his side, with one of Agron’s strong arms thrown over Nasir’s trim waist. It was essential to preserve body heat in the cold night air, but this for sure was not the only reason. It made the German proud to know that Nasir willingly sought out his company and closeness. Agron revelled in it, this unknown feeling of comfort and security. He would even have liked to drop a shy kiss on Nasir’s temple, had he not feared to wake the other man from his slumber.

Agron wasn’t able to easily fall asleep though. Carefully cradling Nasir close to him, he at the same time felt shaken to the bone by the aching deep inside of him. He had felt it before, briefly and unconsciously at first, back at home when he was in school, but still had been able to shake it off then. But it, this damn thing, had come back again and again, to endlessly haunt him. He wanted to run still, run as far as possible, but it was simply too late for that. Running would mean leaving Nasir behind now, and he just couldn’t do that. 

The tall German had been late to realize that he wasn’t able to feel for girls what the naked bodies of his school friends or male comrades had irked in him. This was one of the main reasons why the last two years in the army had been a living nightmare for him, as he at most times had been so very close, but still not quite close enough, to other young males, and meanwhile coming to the unavoidable conclusion that there was simply no escape from his inclination, while having hardly any chance to relieve himself of the pressure said physical needs had put on him. Yes, it had been hell at times. What to say when his comrades had spoken of their heart-felt longing to see their wives and girlfriends once again, to kiss them after endless fights, injuries and other tortures? What to answer when asked to accompany some fellow soldiers into these grotesque establishments where women were forced to sell their bodies after having lost their husband, home and family? And if someone ever found out…

The young French yet meant great danger to his young and too eager heart. He couldn’t risk letting the other man get closer, as he didn’t know how to process such a thing. Once their journey was over, they probably would never see each other again.  
Nasir though had such a way of looking at him out of those big brown, too innocent eyes, with his smile so sincere and his touch so welcoming, that it spoke to Agron’s heart on a level where no other person had touched before. Despite having fought in this war just like Agron had done, killing enemies repeatedly for months and years, there was no evil in the younger man and not even a trace of cruelty, of carelessness or greed. Nasir deserved life and joy more than anybody else. A happy life filled with hope and meaning, with his family or perhaps with a loving wife at his side, should he wish to marry sometime.

He could picture himself falling in love with Nasir oh so very easily. They had grown close already over the course of merely two days. And now again they slept arm in arm, which seemed to happen just naturally with the charming French soldier. But this wasn’t meant to be, couldn’t ever be. Because he was German, and Nasir was French, and even if this war would come to an end, these facts wouldn’t change, and still they would live apart from each other in a gruesome world where nations cared only for power and financial gain, but not for hopeless love. For sure, in Alsace existed some families of both nations with children of mixed heritage, just like Nasir himself. But these were still exceptional cases, and they were both men. He couldn’t pretend to be Nasir’s cousin to live with him, nobody would believe it, and 'Bon jour' and 'Oui' were the only French words he knew. Nasir’s presence on the other hand, with his darker skin and beautiful raven black hair, would raise so many questions if he stayed in Germany only for a couple of days, his French accent so remarkable, that this as well wasn’t possible. They couldn’t be together. Oh, he would fall so very hard…

At the same time he couldn’t let go, wasn’t able to put a bigger physical and emotional distance between himself and Nasir; he just wanted to hold him tight, and treasure him always. Even at a later date in the future, when their fates were settled and they would never meet again, he would gladly do so. Staying with Nasir and caring for him on a daily basis meant sacrifice. Loving him resulted in self-denial. These were both things Agron was at least used to.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a short chapter today, with more to follow soon...

When Agron awakened, he felt so warm. Warm and cherished actually, as he instantly felt Nasir’s slowly moving hands upon his uniform-clad sides, carefully clinging to him, with his dark locks against the big German’s chest. It was so good! The trust, the closeness, having slept warm and sated, it all caused Agron to raise his hand as well to pet Nasir’s hair lightly while pressing him against his body with the other arm. Perfect, to have woken from slumber only to be cherished in a loving embrace. A seemingly simple thing he had ached for years and years.  
Unable to resist, he met Nasir’s warm, tender gaze. It was mostly dark inside the barn, but still, Agron’s personal heaven lit up, effectively shutting out all disturbing thoughts and nightmares from yesterday.

This moment was just perfect between them, to be forever kept in memory. The long, long wait was finally over. Agron lowered his head to eagerly lay his lips upon the other man’s. Softly, slowly sliding against one another, they kept the kiss sensual, slow and nearly chaste, with their mouth’s staying closed. But they were not tentative about it, oh no! Sure to have found one another in just the right way, at just the right time in their lives, they let this shared certainty guide them. And having forgotten all about his worries from yesterday, Agron kept kissing Nasir, until the French soldier finally broke their intimate contact. With wonder in his eyes he touched the German’s lower lip with his fingertips. “Agron… I was not sure, until now. Was not sure you would welcome this…”

Again, Agron kissed Nasir, lighter this time. “How could I not welcome this? You’re beautiful, Nasir. In front of you lies a smitten man.”

Nasir’s eyes widened and he grinned; tenderly cupping Agron’s dimpled cheek. “Flatterer!”

“Only you could make me one.”

“But” Nasir looked around searchingly, seeking an answer the other man could not give him, “what will become of us now? And what about later on?”

“I don’t know” Agron spoke. Suddenly, everything had come back again, to chase him until he would surely lose his mind. And Nasir, his dearest friend, along with it. “I just don’t know.”

Nasir stared at him out of wide eyes, as if he had never thought on this beforehand, and Agron felt the despair from earlier returning with full force and crawling back into his bones, back into his skull until he feared his head might burst from within.

\+ + +

Gathering their things in silence and brushing remnants of hay off their clothes, they hurried to be on their way again. They stopped at the storage room for a moment to pick up some more jars of fruits and leaving the empty ones behind, all done in the secrecy of the early morning light. Then the lonely trail beside the quickly moving river greeted them again, to lead them into freedom and a hopefully peaceful future.

As soon as they were out of sight and in safe distance from their former night’s stay, Agron felt Nasir gently tugging on his arm. Sighing deeply, the big German let himself be dragged to the side to stand under some tree tops. He had feared this and had felt Nasir’s worried gaze on him the whole time.

Meeting the brown eyes with his own, Agron cleared his throat nervously. Nasir reached for both of his hands, shyly looking to the ground again. This alone broke Agron’s heart, as he didn’t want the French soldier to lower his gaze before him. They stood as equals, and he would have Nasir look him in the eyes always. So he cupped the smaller man’s chin, until he looked up again. Finally, Nasir whispered: “What you said stands true?”

“My words were true, but I fear I should not have spoken them.”

“But why, Agron? Please…” Nasir reached for his face and leaned closer to him, possibly to kiss him again. 

But Agron simply closed his strong arms around Nasir, kissed his forehead tenderly, and hugged him tightly against his muscular chest. “Hush, Nasir…” Agron felt tempted to shower Nasir with little kisses, to show him endless love without boundaries just as he longed to do, but he withstood. He could not; they could not. A little tenderness here and there might be okay somehow, as he didn’t want to crush Nasir’s beautiful heart. But they couldn’t risk doing more than that, as their love was forbidden by law first of all, but also as it would lead them sooner to their downfall. But still, it hurt so much to know this. “Hush, little one. It’s okay…”

“But…” Nasir weakly whined against his chest.

“Shh, sweet one. You’re safe with me” Agron whispered, carefully looking around to test if they were still alone and unobserved.

“But, can’t we…?” Nasir asked, beginning to shiver in his arms.

“No, I’m afraid we can’t. I would like to be close to you, believe me in this, but there’s not much time left” Agron’s heart ached with longing and empathy for Nasir, for this beautiful trusting soul who still trusted him enough to be deeply vulnerable in front of him. And Nasir clanged to him desperately, quietly sniffling into Agron’s uniform for a couple of minutes. Agron stroked the long black strands again to calm him and kissed his forehead repeatedly to show his heart-felt devotion to the smaller man. 

His efforts finally proved fruitful when Nasir met his gaze and cradled Agron’s cheek in one hand, saying. “I understand that we may not go further than this. But still, I will be close to you and I plead you to allow this. I will stand by your side and guard your life as long as I am able to do so. Both our destinies are interwoven from now on.”

Agron stared into the beautiful brown orbs in front of him, feeling enthralled by the other man’s intent. Surely he should have expected Nasir to be stubborn enough to not accept them to be friends and comrades only, now, after they had kissed already. Oh how he longed to do so again... There was no going back, but it was a thin line they would be going, being more than friends, but no lovers either. But he accepted and rested his forehead against Nasir’s, as a sign to honour this promise. Yet, if he had known how earnest Nasir was in his intent and that he indeed had meant it as a vow to him, to be kept forever and for the rest of his life, maybe he would better not have done so.


	7. Chapter 7

Soon they were on their way again and walking along the river in seemingly peaceful silence. Occasionally, their finger tips would brush, because they still kept close to each other, just in case they met strangers and had to protect the other from harm. Their gazes would meet from time to time, knowingly, tenderly and full of barely hidden longing, and when Nasir finally reached for his hand, Agron let him hold it.  
So they walked hand in hand, a beautiful thing, which Agron had never experienced before, or at least not since being a small child. It felt strange at first, to have someone tugging on his hand who was so much shorter than himself, but they adjusted somehow after a couple of minutes, and then it felt only natural and right.

Not much happened for a long time. They had lunch later on, which consisted of another jar filled with fruits, sitting in the soft grass under some willow’s branches. Agron was glad to finish the fruits and to be able to get rid of the jar, as they weighed him down and also hindered his movement somewhat. Nasir had actually laughed about him, as he, in lack of a bag, was forced to carry the jars in the large front pockets of his uniform jacket, which caused his walk to slightly resemble that of a cowboy. 

After they had eaten, they stayed a little while longer to rest their tired feet, and Nasir smiled at him and leaned his upper body against Agron’s shoulder. The taller man chuckled good-naturedly and almost immediately laid his arm around Nasir’s back to support him. “You comfortable?” he asked gently.

“Yes, as much as can be.” Nasir reached for Agron’s hand again and stroked its back slowly. Then his voice fell down to a whisper, shy and unsure once again. “May I ask you something?” 

“Of course, fire away.”

Nasir still hesitated, but spoke louder now. “Did you have someone at home? Did you – love someone?”

“No” Agron answered truthfully in an even tone, though he suspected this topic to be highly dangerous and possibly leading to more tears. “There’s no one waiting for me to come home absent my parents. What about you?”

“Me neither. I wish it was possible…”

Oh, there it was again, the possibility for further heart-break. “What do you mean?” Agron asked nonetheless.

“For us to be together. I wish for it so, so much actually…” Nasir exclaimed, bringing a hand up to rub his tired, sad eyes.

Agron leaned forward to pet Nasir’s long, black hair lovingly. “Only because you have never known this thing called love. I long for it, too. But we don’t even know each other so well. If we were to stay together for a longer time, maybe you would be bored eventually.”

“I don’t believe so; you’re not a boring person. You are a strong and caring man” Nasir said.

“Gratitude, but I have flaws enough, and eventually you might tire of me.”

Again, Nasir disagreed. “Everyone has flaws. I just want a chance to be happy.”

“And you above all deserve it, my friend” Agron said softly and kissed the top of Nasir’s head.

“But maybe, there’s still a chance...”

The German stilled. There was no chance, none at all. “How so?”

“We could go somewhere else. Somewhere, where nobody knows us and where the law is far away and not to reach us. America, maybe, or Australia. There must be a land where they will have us.”

Agron sighed, seeing as this discussion had begun to bring him closer to despair, yet again. “There is no such land, and we cannot live as outlaws. I wanna go home, Nasir.” He cradled the smaller man’s body to him and closed both of his arms around him. “I’m sorry, but I need to go home.”

“I know” Nasir whispered. “So we won’t be together, after all.”

The German disagreed, too stubborn to relent to hopelessness, too caring not to try to comfort the other man. “We have now. We’re together now. So let’s give a fuck about tomorrow!”

\+ + + 

They travelled in silence once more. But this time, the silence was not peaceful, but depressing and dreadful. Although they still walked hand in hand, Agron sensed that Nasir had closed himself off for the time being, to tend to his wounded heart. The German really wanted to help somehow, and if he had known a way to make things easier for Nasir, maybe this would also have given him the chance to forget about his own misery. To forget about the love he would never have. To forget Duro, beloved, deeply missed brother. Forget how things had been before the war begun. There was no going back to these earlier days now, and never would again.

Had one of both men at least been more attentive, they might have discovered the washed out tracks of vehicles in the ground, which could also be seen where a bush had been rolled over or where small stones were pushed out of the way. And while they encountered no human being, of course this region so close to the borderline was not unobserved and always of interest to some. But when the heart is ill, one does seldom look for outward intrusions.

Their mood lightened after some more hours, but gave way to hurting feet, aching backs and rumbling stomachs. They settled in the near forest close to a fallen book tree, the tree’s upturned shallow root providing them with a minimum amount of shelter, as they were too tired to look for a better one. There they ate and rested their feet. Then Agron accompanied Nasir to the river close by, where they attempted to wash and get rid off the dirt and sweat of several days. 

Agron watched enthralled as Nasir, who was kneeing beside him only two metres away, took off his jacket and uniform shirt to wash his upper body. Still it had been a cold day, but not as cold as the day before, so it was affordable to be half naked for a minute or two, if you put your clothes back on quickly afterwards. And of course the German was more than willing to help Nasir get warm again.  
But right now his eyes were glued to the olive skin of his comrade. Nasir was really slender, thin even, but underneath that endless expanse of tanned, smooth and desirable skin lay firm muscles, which moved elegantly as Nasir raised his arms to wash his armpits. A hot flame of arousal went through the German’s tired body when he saw Nasir’s nipples, light brown, tender and erect from the cold. Agron ached to touch his firm shoulders as well, his strong back, and to travel downwards from there to these delicious buttocks, but he averted his gaze to finish his own washing instead. 

They huddled against one another once they were ready to fall asleep, with Agron’s mighty arms around the smaller man. Being oh so very tired, they were out and deep in dreams the moment they closed their eyes, but in the middle of the night, when it was the coldest, Nasir woke up shivering strongly. Sadly, they had not found a better shelter for their rest; they were in the open, with only the tree’s root and some fallen leaves underneath their bodies protecting them from any outside influences. For sure, Nasir had often slept on the ground while in the army, but that had been in the combat tunnels, which were protected from wind and slightly warmer than this spot, and he had possessed a blanket then and had been in the company of his comrades.

Agron must have sensed Nasir’s restlessness, because he tensed as well and then sighed tiredly. “Nasir? Are you awake?”

“Yes, I’m so cold. I’m not sure I’ll be able to fall sleep again.”

Agron took Nasir’s hands into his to check their temperature upon hearing this. “And maybe you shouldn’t. Maybe we should move. It’s the exhaustion of the last days which makes you more sensitive to the cold. But I can’t have you freezing to death so close to your home.”

“But it’s pretty dark here, we won’t see anything” Nasir complained, trying to snuggle closer to the German.

“We’re under tree tops now; it will be lighter on our path, where the stars will guide us somewhat. Really, we should go, Nasir, to warm you up. Once we find a better shelter we may sleep for a few hours more. Are your feet okay?”

Nasir sighed deeply. “Yeah, they’re fine. Okay, Agron, you win. But only if you kiss me.”

The German chuckled. “Nice try…” but pulled Nasir’s hands closer to his mouth, at first to blow warm air onto them, then to gently kiss the cold palms, one after the other.

The smaller man, apparently deeply moved, hugged Agron hard. “Thank you! That was… never has anyone ever done such a thing for me.”

“Shh, speak none of it. And we should hurry up now, what do you think? You have your helmet?” Agron asked, grabbing his rifle from the ground.

Now it was Nasir’s place to laugh softly. “Yes, commander, ready to go!”

They found the night to be not so terribly dark, as Agron had rightfully guessed before, the stars and the half full moon shining onto their way. And while hiking was easier done during the day, the overall darkness could protect them from being discovered by bands of soldiers or other enemies. Nasir though stumbled more than once, until Agron took his hand to be able to assist him.

After half an hour they witnessed some movement, to be heard in the sliding of large bodies against the grasses on the other side of the river. Both men stilled, alarmed and cautious and Agron took the gun from his back to prepare it to shoot, just in case. They could not clearly distinguish any form in midst the dark shadows, but when they heard a bellowing of sorts, followed by some short, deep bleating, they knew the noises were likely to come from roe deer or stags.

Agron cursed: “Fuck the Gods, Nasir. Tons of meat are waiting there for us, and we can’t get them, because I can’t distinguish a deer from a fucking bush.”

Nasir hummed undecidedly. “What if you just try to shoot?”

“I might hit one of those deer by accident, but chances are really slim. This would be a waste of bullets and I can’t risk that. What a pity…”

Only later Agron eventually came to realise how wise and important for their prolonged survival this decision had been.

\+ + +

“Wait, please!” Some time later, Nasir urgently tugged on the German’s arm to stop him. It was still dark, but dawn was nearing and the dark night blue of the firmament slowly turned into greyish colours. Their surroundings still resembled these of yesterday, their path right beside the river, with young birches and some cottonwood trees bordering it. But something seemed off, and as Nasir took one more look into the distance, he saw it: a huge, dark grey form rising above the river, far away still, going from the left bank of the water to the right. 

Agron apparently had also discovered it, exclaiming excitedly: “Fuck, Nasir, that’s a bridge. Your eyes are really good! Now we’re saved.”

“We still have to be cautious. A bridge which is not destroyed by now is likely guarded, to serve army purposes.”

“That’s right, we’ll be careful. Let’s get closer to explore.”

Upon coming nearer, they soon noticed that they indeed were not alone on this spot. An army truck was parked on their side of the river, half under the tree tops, and a small hut, likely a station for observation and strategy purposes, stood to the side. A lone soldier, who sat behind the steering wheel, dozed inside the truck. A thing which could turn out to be really bad for the two deserters. 

Agron and Nasir sneaked closer, until they were close enough to fully observe the scene, and hid behind some bushes. Soon Agron recognized the license tag of the truck to be of German origin.

“They are from my home country. We have to cross that bridge while this one’s still sleeping. If he wakes up too soon, we’re fucked and as good as dead.”

That was indeed so, as Nasir would be instantly recognised as a French soldier. And Agron? With his dirty, torn uniform and suspicious comrade, coming out of nowhere seemingly, with no news to report from other parts of the troops, he would be easily identified as a deserter, as a collaborator even. Someone who knew the enemy and planned with him for his or her own good, under the guise of rightfully serving the own nation. They were seen as the worst and should be executed without any delay.

Nasir seemed unsure of their next action. “We could still search for another bridge or another way to cross the river. This one here is highly dangerous.”

Agron turned to him unbelievingly and spoke: “The next bridge may also be guarded, and it might take some days of walking to go there. If we travel too far along the river, it will take us even longer to get home. The only alternative I see is to knock him out and kill any other soldiers who might be here.”

Nasir shook his head in a manner which told Agron that this plan was no alternative at all. “That’s also risky, and I don’t want to shed any more blood. We should take this way then, but only after we have observed some more.”

So it was decided. It was unclear how many men were inside of that hut, its window being dark, but it was highly unlikely for the soldier in the truck to be alone here. Agron and Nasir waited and observed for ten more minutes, then finally nodded to each other in silent agreement and sneaked forward.

When they took the first steps onto the bridge, Agron even felt a spark of joy run through him. This was one of the last obstacles they had to overcome before he could deliver Nasir to his home. The old bridge, carefully constructed by French engineers, was a way leading them to freedom, to a future which suddenly seemed so bright, so full of unforeseen possibilities.

They hastened their steps, intent to quickly put some more distance between them and the army truck behind them. The river’s waves clashed underneath them, the cold water joyfully moving in its stream bed. Agron took Nasir’s hand and pulled him closer, but tugged a little too hard on his limb. Nasir slightly stumbled into his side, which caused the last jar in Agron’s uniform jacket to clack against Nasir’s belt. Still, this could not be heard very far, as the waves would cover up the noise. Agron then leaned down a little to help Nasir back up. The jar finally fell out its depository and broke on the middle of the bridge, the glass splitters flying everywhere. Nasir looked to the ground, as the precious cherries were going to waste now.

Agron was the faster of the two to comprehend the seriousness of the situation. “Run, Nasir, run!” He grabbed Nasir’s hand tightly in his and pulled his friend along, to reach the other end of the bridge as quick as possible.

Then, only seconds later, bullets shot through the air all around them, disrupting the tranquillity of the breaking dawn with awful signs of war and endless destruction.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still, or again, in love with this story. Are you, too?

Nasir kept holding on to Agron’s hand, as tight as he was able to, as he moved his feet to purpose to get to the other end of the bridge as fast as possible. It was the fear, the ultimate terror of possibly losing Agron that caused him to still quicken his steps, although his legs were not used to running anymore and his lungs not comfortable to pull in the cold air with such haste. The loss of his own life wouldn’t have bothered him too much, but he wanted to experience these remaining couple of days spent in Agron’s precious company, if these were all that he could ever get, and he wanted to enjoy them at all cost. Fear gripped him, caused his heart to beat faster and the blood to rush loudly inside his ears.

Which other thoughts went through his head while running for life? Later, he couldn’t really tell anymore. He noticed snippets of noises of loudly rushing water, the wet beams of the bridge causing him to slip slightly, until Agron pulled him upright again with his powerful arm, and still some bullets hitting the water’s surface, but fortunately not one of them. Only splashes of water that could not reach them, not harm them. Gratefulness for Agron, and for everything they had experienced together. The willingness to give his own life for his companion, if need be. A flash of love, at last, for Agron, for his lonely mother, and for his grandparents. He hadn’t known much joy and happiness in his short life so far, but if he was to die today or soon, he didn’t want to do so before remembering and cherishing the good things he had enjoyed, and he owed it all to these few, dear persons.

Then it was over, nearly too fast, and their feet finally found solid ground on the other side of the bridge, the side where home, and peace, and being free and happy could be found, if you searched only long enough. Nasir knew he had already found it and would lose it again, to never find it anew.  
Agron pulled him further into the bushes and then under the closest tree tops and then up a small mound, still surrounded by dense vegetation. Nasir feared he would never stop, and it seemed Agron indeed wouldn’t. Nasir tripped over some roots, Agron’s trousers quickly got caught in bushes, its sharp thorns hurting his legs. Regardless, they moved on and on. Behind the mound were only more forests, more vegetation, but it provided them with a legitimate hide-out.

After more than twenty minutes spent with running and tormenting their tired bodies to escape a highly dangerous situation, Agron half tumbled, half fell against a strong book tree and pulled Nasir closer to him, into his arms. Both their faces were wet from sweat dripping out of every pore, and it took them quite a while until their breaths were calm enough to attempt to speak.

Agron coughed and wearily gestured into the direction where they had come from. “Do you hear that? We still must move on.” 

Indeed the heated shouting of men and the barking of new commands could be heard from afar, telling them of an argument taken place between soldiers, as the commander of the army unit stationed at the river was likely to reprimand his subordinates for their huge misstep.

Nasir gripped the German’s hand to halt him. “Allow us a minute of rest.”

Agron nodded. “A minute then, but not more.”

Nasir rested his head against his comrade’s wide chest, seeking to draw strength and comfort from the other’s closeness. His lungs hurt; his legs trembled from the effort. But when confronted with the outlook to be caught, interrogated and executed afterwards, he was certain to possess enough strength and power of mind and body to carry on somehow, to go on and hopefully find some measure of safety further on their road. 

Soon enough, Agron urged him to move apart and go further into the forest, further into the direction where they hoped to find the house of Nasir’s grandparents in a few days. Nasir remembered the name of the village of course, remembered the looks of the fields and forests surrounding it and would in all likelihood recognize the streets, the places which he had seen as a child and where he had played with other children in ignorance and youthful bliss. This had been at a time when his home country had known peace and prosperity for almost everyone. It was hard to say if his so-called map would provide them with enough information to find the right place. He had not seen his grandparents in some years, only knew that they still lived according to his mother’s letters which he had received during his post in the army.

He and Agron were not running anymore, but attempted to keep up a fast speed of travelling. Not to mention that they were lacking any kind of food now, again. And they couldn’t afford to walk across the open fields, but were forced to take refuge inside the forests. After a time, Nasir couldn’t count how many miles they had crossed, how many times he had already stumbled over roots or how many times their clothes had been cut and ripped open by low hanging branches. It didn’t matter; time didn’t matter, only survival mattered.

Snow had begun to softly fall again, painting their surroundings in a soft glow of silver-white light against the contrast of the much darker trees. It was beautiful, but Nasir didn’t relish in it.

Some time later, when it had yet to be around lunch time, although they were left hungry, they found a carcass, a dead fox in the snow, which had curled up on itself before finding eternal peace here. The lack of other animals nearby suggested that scavengers hadn’t yet discovered the easy prey.

Agron immediately bent down to examine the animal. He searched the fur for signs of wounding, finally turned it around and said: “It has been shot, you see?” Indeed Nasir now also noticed the deadly wound in the animal’s stomach, which was matted with small amounts of blood. 

The German spoke again: “That means some people have to live close-by, which can be either a good or a bad thing for us. We could eat the meat of the fox, it’s still fresh, but I doubt that we’ll be able to make a fire to roast it. Give me your dagger, please.”

Nasir looked down into Agron’s face, observing the chapped lips and cheeks red from exertion, but had difficulties to understand his friend’s meaning. “You want to eat it completely uncooked?”

Agron nodded gravely. “It will give us some energy at least. Can’t hurt to try. Please watch out in the mean time, while I prepare this.”

Nasir searched for the dagger hidden inside his uniform with trembling fingers and soon watched the German cut the carcass open. Agron, although he shortly hesitated, swiftly cut through the fur of the animal’s stomach until he was able to pull the skin aside. With the help of the dagger he then seemed to search the organs, pulled intestines aside, until he made another cut and retrieved a slimy dark red mass out of it and laid it down into the snow. There he cut it again into two halves and, with a proud grin, offered one of them to Nasir. “That’s the liver, which should be soft enough to chew it. It’s cold, but full of carbohydrates. If you don’t want to chew it, I think you can also just swallow it in large bites, your stomach will do the rest for you.”

Nasir took the organ out of Agron’s dirty fingers, eying it with dubious interest. It was not dripping with blood, as the blood flow had long ago come to rest, but it didn’t look very tasty either. Agron stood again and brought the other half to his own mouth, already biting into the mass without hesitation. And although he apparently had to make a real effort to chew it thoroughly, Agron still grinned at him to convince Nasir to eat as well. “You know, my family had bunnies, that’s why I know how to gut animals, and foxes from the forest often tried to go for them, sneaking into our barns to terrorise our live-stock. Nice to know that one of these predators helps me once in a lifetime. Go on, just eat it, or I will finish the rest.”

Nasir timidly brought the piece of liver to his mouth, sniffed at it and then proceeded to take a bite out of it. The meat was so cold that he couldn’t get a clear impression of its taste, but the sensation was still weird enough to make his stomach grumble uneasily. He bit, swallowed numbly, bit, swallowed again. Only then Agron seemed content enough and bent down for the second time, turned the carcass around and started to cut large pieces of muscle out of the shoulder.

Nasir had finally managed to swallow down his portion of liver and inquired: “How do you want to transport the meat? We can’t eat everything at once.”

Agron frowned. “I’m not sure either, but we should hurry up now. At least we don’t have to make an effort to hide the carcass; our footprints can be found in the snow anyway. If someone is already following us, only speed and trickery can save us. But these soldiers didn’t possess any dogs and can’t drive through the forest with their vehicle. Besides, I would count on their laziness and foolishness, preventing them to follow us that far. They’re likely as tired and frustrated as we are.”

“They might have sent a telegram to the next outpost, warning them of our arrival” Nasir interjected. 

“That may be so. We have to be careful and watch out at any time.” Agron stood and unceremoniously shoved the pieces of meat into his pockets, just where the jars with fruits had been on the day before, then wiped his hands in the snow to clean them. The Syrian smiled kindly. Since it was cold outside it didn’t make a big difference, but Nasir knew the uniform would begin to smell really bad once they found a warmer place to stay. If Agron ever saw his home again, he would have to burn this garment either way. Still, the tall German looked imposing enough, the long rifle easily slung over his back, reminding him that Agron wasn’t helpless by any means and would protect him, if need be. 

Nasir stretched his back, clasped Agron’s neck with his stiff hands and kissed the German’s cold cheeks. “Thank you, Agron.” The feeling of gratitude and love he carefully kept hidden inside, but Agron seemed to sense some of it regardless. Their gazes locked, finding and holding on to the other’s soul without any conscious effort.

“Nasir” Agron’s raspy voice spoke, and then his German companion kissed Nasir without preamble, and right on the lips. With feelings of raw passion and longing, they tasted one another, thus ridding themselves of the odd taste of uncooked liver. Quickly they lost themselves in the moment, neither of them keeping sense of their surroundings, although both men should have known better actually. Nasir longed to touch Agron some more and more intimately, at a place were they were warm and safe at last. If there should ever be such a time and place for them together…

After the kiss had ended, Agron took Nasir’s hand into his, to tenderly rub it in his bigger one, and the warm, green eyes sought his gaze. “Are you ready to go?”

“As ready as can be” Nasir whispered huskily. He wanted to make love to Agron, but other things really had to come first.

\+ + +

It took them two more hours to get out of the forest, cross a small stream and pass by deserted fields, only to find their way into another forest once more. They had seen small huts from afar, but hadn’t sought out an opportunity to examine them for available sources of food, as smoke coming out of the chimneys told them that the village was inhabited and likely guarded. 

Nasir also accepted the grumbling of his stomach and tried to deal with his aching feet. Agron’s tall figure in front of him, or from time to time, beside him, gave him an anchor and reminded him of the one good thing in his life. Love. His eyes were indeed glued to the German, he felt light-weighed, happy and content. If only for a moment, only for a day or two. They had kissed for the second time now. Nasir wanted to savour every moment, every second spent in the company of this beloved man and treasured friend. What more should he wish for in this life? 

Agron saw it at first, as Nasir’s thoughts were too occupied to notice anything besides his companion. “Look, Nasir! We may have found a place for this night’s rest.”

Nasir’s gaze roamed the horizon until he understood Agron’s meaning. Between pine trees stood what looked like the stand of a huntsman, still in a distance of a hundred meters. But chances were good that it was deserted at the moment and that nobody would disturb them there. “It’s not yet dark, but we’ve been up and moving the whole day. I’m not even hungry.”

Agron huffed. “I am, but I guess that can’t be helped.”

Earlier they had drunk sufficiently from the stream. As they couldn’t start a fire without dry wood and without any kind of lighter, there weren’t too many bodily needs that could be met anyway. Once they came closer to the stand, they searched the surroundings for possible threats, then climbed up the ladder and examined the insides of it as well. It hadn’t been built in recent years, but was still stable enough to hold their combined weight, and had a door as well that would keep some of the night’s chill from coming inside. Place was limited, but that was to be expected. 

Both men separately went to take a piss, washed their hands in the snow and met inside the stand afterwards. Sunset was quickly nearing now. Agron reclined on the ground of the stand after he had pulled the door shut, curling his big form around Nasir’s smaller one from behind. An old rug was spread out on the ground, giving them an impression of rarely found comfort in this otherwise cold habitat.

Nasir chuckled. “Agron, please take the meat out of your pockets. I can’t smell it yet, but on the morrow, it will smell.”

“Sorry, I forgot about it” Agron replied humorously, took the meat out of his uniform pockets with tentative fingers and placed it in a little alcove which was cut into the wood above their heads. The German wiped his fingers, thankfully on his own trousers, and then moved back towards Nasir, hiding his nose in strands of the Syrian’s long, dark hair.

Nasir turned his head to face Agron and their lips found each other again, but only for a short, fleeting moment. “Good night, Agron.”

“Good night, Nasir.” 

And then both men slept, both still somewhat cold, but not miserable.

**Author's Note:**

> This is a reminder of World War I, in which several nations lost so many, many young lives. And I'm so grateful that today I'm able to write stories for you, instead of having to fight you! As you may have guessed by now, I'm from Germany. My grandfather still fought in World War II. Unfortunately I don't know much about his side of version, he died some years ago. But please let's not forget that peace between European countries is one of the most precious accomplishments we have today.


End file.
